I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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