She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
this boner is exhausting
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
