Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
