So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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