Grow some girl-balls and come out already
my vag is so smooth its legendary
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I have post one night stand depression
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
