bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
