a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
