hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Fuck me I smell like cheese
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
