dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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