YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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