I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
