what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize