yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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