did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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