apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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