bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
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