SEEEEXXX PLEASE
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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