just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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