you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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