Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
foreskin is a definite game changer
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
