is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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