so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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