I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
sarcasm needs its own font
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
