I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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