gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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