you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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