I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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