Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
