Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Girls should come with a carfax report
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
