Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
