Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
