chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
