My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
