One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
not ubering you a puppy
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
