Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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