it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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