just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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