they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
