u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
