i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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