I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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