Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
