I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize