quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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