Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
