I just cut my nipple shaving
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
