dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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