Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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