Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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