This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
