with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Less talking, more tequila
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
