If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
