So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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