He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
