new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
