small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
