Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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