Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
