Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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