# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
only if we run a train.
done.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Randomize
