I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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