pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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